9/9/13

1.Never stop thinking. This is important. If someone ever says to you 'You need to stop thinking so much,' call them ignorant in your head and keep thinking deeper. It is this mentality that breeds stupidity and sheeple. Your mind is the most important tool you have, if you stop using it, it will atrophy. Question everything.
2. Stare into space blankly and don't mentally punish yourself for doing it, even if it is for that split second. If you have a problem with staring blankly, think of it as daydreaming.
3. Root Beer sucks after having spicy food.
4. Everything is going to be just fine. If you worry about acne, you're going to get a fucking pimple.
5. Don't be afraid to talk about anything. You shouldn't be afraid of reality.
6. Everyone is a hypocrite.
7. You are all original. Every life experience is case sensitive and unique. Every time you wake up or go to the bathroom or quote someone else, you are becoming more you than anyone has ever been.
8. Do pointless things. Don't actively restrain or hide yourself from the redundant.
9. Stop rushing. Shut up and embrace the sound of silence.
10. Religion shouldn't be taught, it should be found. No one should tell you what to believe except you. And while were on the subject...
11. Don't be restrained by one religion. People change every moment of everyday. Minds grow and evolve. Religion has no law so feel free to mix and match. Make your own.
12. Going to the bathroom is not a right nor a privilege. it's an act of nature.
13. Talking to yourself is healthy. Is there anyone that you have more in common with?
14. There is no such thing as time. The sun never sets or rises. Days and years don't exist. There is only your life. Earlier today you were born and death is predicted later in the evening.
15. We will always be in a transitional phase. Look outside and know that everything will be replaced at some point. This existence is temporary.
16. Its not half empty or half full. Its half a glass.
17. Every now and then take something that you see everyday and try to see it in a different light. Renew its existence.
18. Be happy, but don't force it.
19. You will always succeed in trying.
20. We are all crazy. Every person you read about in the history books had some kind of 'disorder', they just knew how to use it.
21. We are all about as similar as we are different.
22. Ideas are just as valuable as people. Why do you think we keep making people?
87. Numbers don't have to go in order.
24. Words will always be just words. Love is just another four letter word, only the feeling is real.
25. Ask a child for advice. They may not know much, but they know what is important.
26. Prove you're alive. Do anything from dancing in the supermarket to screaming 'Fuck' during a moment of silence. Remind the world you are still here.
27. Don't take anything, even this, too seriously.

9/7/13

"First, I was dying to finish my high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. Then I was dying to marry and have children. But then I was dying to retire. And now I am dying... And suddenly I realized I forgot to live."

9/3/13

"Pity makes suffering contagious." - Friedrich Nietzsche

8/11/13

"I always say talent is overrated. Talent doesn't interest me nearly as much as perserverance." - Conan O'Brien

7/19/13

"So much of human anguish and despair comes from the added extra that is born of ignorance in the moment. It is sad to realise how the misery and anguish and despair of humanity is based upon delusion; the despair is empty and meaningless. When you see this, you begin to feel infinite compassion for all beings. How can you hate anyone or bear grudges or condemn anyone who is caught in this bond of ignorance? Everyone is influenced to do the things they do by their wrong views of things." - Ajahn Sumedo

The Visit

Her breasts reeked of formaldehyde and what could only be described as a freshly moistened corpse after the morning dew. It was apparent she had visited her recently deceased lover, Pierre-Lioux, at the mortuary.

Despite his impressive deductions thus far, Jonathon however was unable to surmise the logistics behind a woman fornicating with a cadaver; seeing as how the deceased lacks appropriate blood flow to achieve arousal. Scissoring, perhaps?

No matter the means of procreation, Jonathon planned on solving the mystery of what happened to Jennifer in the graveyard earlier that very day.

“So Jennifer, what were you doing fucking Pierre-Lioux’s dew-moistened corpse this morning?”

Jonathon never prolonged the inevitable.

“Ummmmm, excuse me? The only thing I “did” this morning was take a trip to Steak ‘n’ Shake for a quick breakfast before work. Who is Pierre-Lioux?”

Of course! Jonathon had forgotten about Steak ‘n’ Shake’s new Formalde-Fried Dew Burger©, available with your choice of side-dish for only $3.99 (for a limited time only, promotions may vary).

Jonathon had quenched his intrigue and could now proceed with his game of internet checkers,

alone.

THE END